Writing

So, I read a number of articles talking about how good it is for one's brain to write. To actually physically write with a writing instrument (pen / pencil / quill / whatever) in sentences.  Not a list.  But actual sentences.  Apparently it fires up more parts of the brain and connects the different parts better.  So we're trying an experiment.  15-20 minutes per day.  Easy to do once you start.  Hard to set a specific time for it so it doesn't get lost in the day.  Want to see if it will help either of us.

That means that I get a lot of my thoughts down on paper.  (And it's super fun because it isn't for anyone to read, totally private which makes it better.)  And then I feel like I have no need to write here for my "journaling" because I've already taken note of the important stuff.  But here we are.  And I apparently still have things to record because it's important to me to record some things.

broken, sigh...

Saturday morning:  folding laundry by the counter in the laundry room.  Quiet in the house.  A super loud sudden crack jolted me.  Right near me.  Looked around and discovered one of our windows there in the laundry room has a crack.  Arcs from one top corner down to the bottom (same side) corner of the window.  The inside pane only.  No birds hit the window, nothing happened.  Just a sudden failure of the window.  Alarming for sure. And a bit overwhelming.  Last spring when I needed to just have a handle fixed it took weeks and multiple phone calls and oversight.  Not sure I have that in me just now. 

Chatted with our friend the electrician at church the other day - yes, bad of me, so selfish and intrusive.  The lights in the pantry are still flickering.  Took one down to look at it because I figured it was a fluorescent bulb that needed replacing.  Nope, at some point in the past the fluorescent bulbs were replaced with LED bulbs.  Didn't think LED's ever quit working / burned out / flickered.  But yes, they are still flickering.  Driving me nuts every time I enter the pantry.  That kind of flickering makes me feel weird. Our electrician friend suggested replacing the LED bulbs.  If that doesn't work the ballast might have to be by-passed. Sheesh. 

Yesterday we spent celebrating our friend's birthday with a late lunch at Cheesecake Factory.  I love that place.  We rarely go because it is so expensive.  But our friend also likes to go there and every Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day and birthdays their kids (a blended family of 7 kids) give them gift cards to restaurants.  Their stack is a deck of card stack thickness.  We were lucky yesterday that I had saved my very generous gift card to Cheesecake from my birthday.  Even so, the total for the dinner (they always want to get a piece of cheesecake and those are between $8 - $14) including tip was $75.  My stomach just churns at the cost.  I could have had a couple new sweaters for that.  True, it's like a once a year thing for us.  But seriously.  The Husband wanted his own piece of cheesecake so I got what I thought was the simplest and cheapest.  Could have and maybe should have just done without.  We so rarely get to go out for festivities like that it felt important to just enjoy.  Which I did.  Until I saw the cost, then I didn't so much.

Had bought tickets to a movie (for discount Tuesday) and learned that this one is a sequel.  So last night we streamed the first one. Wasn't sure I still wanted to see the one today.  But decided since we already had the tickets we'd just go.  And rarely for us, we bought a bucket of popcorn.  Doesn't ever sit very well on my stomach.  The first one was super intense and quite disturbing in how people can go completely nuts when their lives are at stake and there's a slight possibility of survival if they can only beat down the people in their way.  The second one (today's movie) was slightly less disturbing but still sad and heartrending.  I'm so conflicted about it.  Think I'll watch something else tonight that will be more uplifting.

Finding gratitude today for food gift cards.  We had one for The Husband's favorite bbq place on Saturday, then one for Cheesecake yesterday.  Members of our family are very generous with us.  I am grateful for my treadmill.  We are in the middle of our typical January inversion so our air quality is ugly.  Not going out and breathing it. Lovely to spend time reading for an hour while I'm getting some exercise and not inhaling all those nasty particulates.  Grateful for a can of something I can open for dinner and grateful for a comfortable home where we can feel safe, protected and warm.

Odd Sunday

After a really rough couple days, I think I can (hopefully safely) say The Husband is responding well to the antibiotic.  He seems better.  In almost every way.  My heart is happy.

But...since I really didn't want him around other people in his health-depleted state, that meant no church for us today.  Frankly, he wasn't really up to it anyway.  I wasn't comfortable leaving him.  So we stayed home.  We'll fast next week to make up for not fasting (he needs to be well hydrated to recover) today.  It has felt odd all day long.  

Church is often quite challenging for me.  People are people, who they are and who they aren't isn't always pleasant or fun.  But we're all flawed, right?  I expected to feel fine about staying home.  Instead I felt sort of - I guess - bereft.  Missing those few people who acknowledge us.  Missing the sacrament.  Missing the hymns.  I'll be so happy to get back there next week.  Especially for the sacrament. I think we all need it.

Spent the afternoon reading a book that I wasn't even sure I really wanted to read.  Ended up enjoying it immensely. 

I am trying very hard to integrate positivity in my life.  Being critical is not how I want to be. I want to attract good, light-bringing qualities / experiences.  I'm working toward that end.

Came across this quote that I like.  No idea who to attribute this to, I would if I could.

In English, we say: Happy New Year. 🥂
But in poetry, we say: May this year treat your heart gently, return your strength in quiet ways, heal what last year couldn’t hold, and remind you that surviving was already a victory.

And I love this from Jeffrey Holland.  Conference will never be the same without his wisdom and ability to articulate love, righteousness and lofty ideals we should all strive for.  

I'm grateful today for The Husband's improvement.  It will take some while longer, I know, for him to return to full health.  Pneumonia is no small matter, especially when you're no longer young.  And I'm grateful to know that next Sunday will feel better, more like it should.

No Pics Today

 We did have a nice Christmas.  Breakfast and a couple games over in Herriman.  Thanks, son, for the invitation.  It was nice to be included.  Two years in a row for this which is somewhat astonishing for me.  Their holidays haven't traditionally included us.  The breakfast was lovely and she was up very early making a wonderful casserole and cinnamon rolls.  So kind of them.  The rest of the day was spent quietly here at home.  I was just two weeks post-surgery and feeling well though unwilling to do anything to hinder my recovery.

Yesterday morning The Husband  slept from about 9 until noon-thirty when I woke him for lunch.  Very unusual for him to sleep so much.  He woke and said he was in a bad way.  Hhmmm.  Took him right off to an urgent care.  (Went to one that was recommended to me because I'm always complaining that I want to see a dr. instead of a nurse practitioner and this one was supposed to pretty much always only staff physicians.  Not so for us yesterday,  nary a dr. in sight.  Though to be fair it was a holiday.)  

Tested for flu, Covid, Uti, blood sugar.  All negative.  Strongly urged us to go to the E.R.  The Husband was loathe to do that.  But over the afternoon he kind of worsened a little bit.  Had some strange vision things as well as the body trembling.  Little bit of fever (which rose a couple degrees in a bit over an hour).  Finally my concern reached him and he consented to the E.R.  They were great.  We left a couple hours later (thank heavens for my book) with a diagnosis.  Pneumonia.  In the lower left lobe.  Antibiotics prescribed, though they gave  him a dose before sending him home.  All of the bodily functions they tested were great, he's in good health (yay!) just pretty sick.  

Never seen him like that.  I was privately quite alarmed. Or maybe only sort of privately.  

So my worry:  that this is just a taste of what the new year has in store for us.  I already had decided that we weren't going to have December in 2026.  We've had such large (and feeling overwhelming) things going on the last three Decembers.  All the major appliances that needed replacing/repairing and then my surgery.  

The Husband seemed to have a decent night last night, we're off for haircuts this morning and hopefully picking up the prescription on the way home.  He needs to get better.  It's hard when he's so sick.

Grateful this morning for doctors and kind staff at the E.R. who helped me feel like I was doing the right thing getting him in for some help.  Also grateful for some insurance.  Haven't any idea (and it's a scary thought) how much yesterday's medical visits will cost us.  But at least insurance will cover some of it.  Still don't know how much my surgery is going to be.  We might have to mortgage the house. 😏 But hopefully our insurance will cover at least some of everything.  Grateful for hope of improvement in his health.  Grateful for the rain (snow in the mountains) and just plain grateful.

Christmas...

 ...was so hard for so many years.  It took me forever to figure out how to temper my expectations, to learn to focus on what is important and to just enjoy the day.  There are lots of thoughts I have about the holiday which I won't elaborate on right now.  Suffice it to say that I've finally made my peace with our situation and how the actual season/day unfolds. 

We ran down yesterday to Utah county to see our son and grandson.  We never stay long, an hour is about the max, but we love visiting with them.  Our grandson is a whipsmart dear that we don't get to see near enough (or get to see our son near enough).  They seem content enough which I always hope for all of our loved ones.  "Want" isn't a good place for anyone to be in. 

Surprisingly, we were invited to Christmas breakfast at our son's house. How kind of them, and I think this might be the second year in a row for that invitation.  I'm nervous as I always am to get together with them.  But we'll take our small gifts, stay for about an hour and spend the rest of the day at home.  Our finances don't allow us to spend as much as we used to so we hope that what we've done will be enough and accepted with grace.  I'm all for reducing stress - especially at Christmas time.  This year my surgery has impacted our lives more than I (foolishly) anticipated.  

The Husband was gifted an Advent Puzzle box.  Filled with 15 different small Christmas sweater puzzles.  He's had such fun completing a sweater every day. Such a thoughtful gift.

I love socks.  Have made no secret of that fact.  Have become quite fond of wool socks during the winter.  The ones I've worn the most have been ones we picked up at Costco a few years ago.  Was discomfited to find a hole in the one I put on (and promptly changed) this morning.  I'll save the good sock.  I don't really care if my socks don't perfectly match.  Sooner or later another sock from that batch will also have a hole and then I'll be able to wear two similar warm comfy socks.  

Was invited to read this child's picture book.  I loved it.  Even though I am no longer spending money on picture books (or books of any kind, really) this would be a contender to purchase.  So fun.  

I'm grateful today that we've some rain in the forecast - we so need it.  Our temps have been startlingly high - in the 60's.  Not good for December.  I'm grateful for an outing to look forward to this afternoon.  I'm grateful that so far my surgery recovery is going well.  On our morning walk, we commiserated with each other about how discouraging it is to have bodies that are aging - nothing super serious going on, just a lot of small gripes that impact daily living.  Arthritis being a big one for the both of us.  I'm grateful that the effect of the holidays on our eating (I'm complaining all the time about all the sugar!) will soon pass.  I'm looking forward to less sugar, I find too much of it bothers me more these days.  Must be that aging thing. I will ever be grateful for good books to read and a supply within driving distance - I'm a staunch supporter of our libraries. And I'm most of
all grateful for Christmas.  I've been trying to incorporate some contemplation of the huge blessing it is, our Savior was the best gift to the world.